Best of Both Worlds - Topless Edition

What inspired this one, you ask? I noticed that Little T posted something about finding an Edward rubber ducky for on Etsy. BTW, there is one and he just doesn't do it for me like the Jasper duck. I didn't post him here because his hairline gives me the wiggins, no pun intended.

That made me wonder if there were any other odd Twilight inspired toys on Etsy. Which led me to find a couple of interesting items, both which happened to feature man nips. And that made me wonder if anyone ever posted items labeled "Twilight nipples." Yep, someone did.

His lips are a bit too Angelina Jolie for me, but working with wool roving can be a total pain in the bum sometimes, so I'd give this Etsy artist an (A) for effort. Available from gimpyvicki123

Who needs a plushie with arms when you can have one with man nips and a 4 pack? Available from telahmarie

I wonder if Alice packed some of these for Bella to use on her honeymoon... Available from CheesecakeBurlesque

Why Not?

Rockin Robin is a Twilightland Hero

What makes this Rockin Robin chick so special? She single-handedly saved this blog from deletion.

I am not arrogant enough to think that this blog will be read by more than 100 people or so in its lifetime. And if it even gets that high, it will because of some bizarre mistake, like they entered the wrong web address. But over the past few months, I've felt kind of "blah" about the blog. Nobody was participating in poll voting or commenting on anything. I missed the virtual interactions with other Twilight fans that the blog used to have and came {thisclose} to deleting everything and just settle for getting my Cullen fix elsewhere.

And then through the murk of the Interwebs came a beam of bright light - in the form of a comment. Rockin Robin questioned my sanity in reference to thinking Emmett is attractive. (Let me address that Kellan Lutz is hot (at least his arms and abs are) and the book Emmett I have pictured in my mind is a dreamboat, but not on the same level as Edward. The movie Emmett now sports a vulcan haircut and his eyes are majorly creepy - Rosalie can keep him.)

Thank you, Robin. You have returned the spark to Twilightland.

In honor of this momentous occasion, December 28th will now be known as "Rockin Robin Day" in Twilightland.

You don't get a key to the city, but how about a nice picture of Edward?

"Robin, I don't understand her reasoning, either. There is no way Emmett is hotter than me!"

Happy Holidays!

May Santa fill your stocking with Twilighty goodness!

Best of Both Worlds - Emmett Edition

Now we have the last of the three Cullen brothers - Emmett! So far, he has been the hardest of the three to find items for. When I put "Team Emmett" into the search field I ended up with this guy as an option:

Not exactly what I had in mind, but he is kinda cute! Available from NatureVisions.

Show your love for everyone's favorite monkey man by adding this tile pendant to a necklace, keychain, hairclip, or whatever else your heart desires! Available from LaBellaNovella.

Nothing says "I am a mature, organized woman" like a Team Emmett notebook. The classy argyle background makes this suitable for school, home, or work use. Plus, everyone will know that your alliances fall with vamps once they spot the "Vampires Rule, Werewolves Drool" slogan so you don't have to waste your time talking with Team Jacob weirdos anymore! Available from mommymauss.

"What? You like my new shoes? My big burly boyfriend gave them to me to make sure everyone knows I'm spoken for." Have similar conversations once you start sporting your Emmett's Lover shoes around town. But be careful about Rosalie. I hear she's a hair puller! Available from alcat2021. PS: Be sure to check out the Justin Bieber shoes, too. No, I'm serious.

Coffee by itself is already pretty awesome, but add a shirtless Emmett sleeve and you have yourself the best morning ever! The only thing that would make this better is if Emmett was in your kitchen making you your cup of joe. Available from fezfactiry. *

*I know that this is really a picture of Kellan Lutz that's spiced up to look like Emmett. Dude, it was hard to find Emmett stuff - remember the dog sculpture. Also, I am not passing up the opportunity to share a shirtless image of Kellan Lutz with you wonderful blog readers. That would be a total disservice to the two people that actually read this blog.

Best of Both Worlds - Edward Edition

Today's Etsy picks focus on our main man, Edward Cullen! Without further ado...


Frankly, I think this sock zombie ala Edward is spot-on: messy bronze hair that is calling out for you to run your fingers through it, golden eyes that leave you speechless with their beauty, plus his stylish pea coat and pale skin. Biggest bonus: it's a puppet! Available from underroos.

Even equines cannot resist the hotness that is Edward Cullen! Now I won't mind so much when my niece asks me to start playing "My Little Pony" with her when she's older. Available from Wendypony.

Granted , this purse is not as fabulous as my Edward purse, but it is adorable enough to use every day. And it is perfect when you need to infiltrate a Twilight-haters gathering and want to covertly bring a little bit of EC with you. Available from Phesine.

This is how I imagine Edward would look during his honeymoon on Isle Esme. You know, that "Let's take a midnight dip" look. Why not invite your Twilighty friends to a "Breaking Dawn" midnight release party with these bad boys? Available from aeworldsapart.

BTW, my cheeky monkey of a sister, Little T, is insinuating that I would do tawdry things with the Jasper rubber duckie. Not so. I would merely enjoy washing and styling those flowing locks as I soak in the tub. If it were the Edward duckie, that would be a completely different story...

Best of Both Worlds - Jasper Edition

Remember ages ago when I introduced you to Etsy? You know, that website that I am obsessed with, the one where you can purchase all sorts of delightfully delicious handmade items?

Today's Etsy post is devoted to Jasper. My heart may belong to Edward Cullen, but if I were left alone with Jasper... well, let's just say he wouldn't need to use his powers of persuasion to steal me away from his brother.*

*As I typed that last line I got a mental image of Little T calling me a trollop. I guess I am a sucker for a pretty vegetarian vampire face. At least I'm keeping it in the Cullen family, right?

I know this should be considered Jackson Rathbone and not Jasper, but I couldn't resist! If I had this key chain, I don't think I'd ever have a problem with misplacing my keys again. Available from StraitjacketFun.

What's with the Confederate flag and gun, you ask? Silly, did you forget that once upon a time Jasper was a soldier in the Confederate army before he joined the Cullen fam? Available from islandgirlzjewelry.

Mug of hot chocolate - check. Flashlight - check. Good book - check. Jasper doll - check. Ready to crawl under blanket fort - check. Available from TheBlackPumpkin.

Jasper duckie, you're the one! You make bath time so much fun (wink, wink). Available from OnlyDucks.

Sadly, there are not a whole lot of Jasper-themed items on Etsy at the moment. In fact, during one of my "Jasper" searches I ended up finding some really nice non-Twilight jewelry. Hmmm, methinks Little T and I may need to remedy that problem.

Preferred Blood Type

Question: What type of vampire fan are you?

Are you a vampire snob, who only believes in one type of vampire and thinks all other versions of bloodsuckers are a mockery of your one true love? You know, you don't consider a vampire "real" unless it conforms to Stephenie Meyer's, Ann Rice's, Joss Whedon's, (insert another writer/movie director/tv show producer's name here), idea of vampire lore.

Do you embrace all types of vampires, regardless of the way they are presented? You are cool with vampires sparkling. You don't mind when they cower in fear when faced with a garlic wreath. You are ok with vamps morphing into a bat. In fact, you are the person who loves vampires so much, you will read or watch anything that merely has the word vampire in it.

Or are you somewhere in the middle? You are ok with differing vampire viewpoints, but are a little more discerning when it comes to selecting vampire-themed books and movies to satisfy your jones for creatures of the night.

Myself, I walk the middle of the road. I love to read and watch all sorts of vampire-based stories, but I have limits.

The reason I ask is that I am looking for my next quality fix. While "Eclipse" is being released this coming up weekend and will keep me occupied for a couple of weeks (and I have decided not to attend a midnight release party - no money and the lameness factor of the "New Moon" party), I know that I will be looking out for my next helping of vampire folklore soon enough.

So, send me your suggestions for my vampire reading/viewing pleasure!

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I'm sure you lovelies have heard that "Eclipse" is being released on DVD on December 4, yes?

Now I can spend my winter break watching Edward get all growly and territorial when Victoria tries to attack Bella. Though in my mind's eye Edward will be protecting me, not Bella. Victoria can suck on Bella's bony little neck all she wants.

While I am excited about the upcoming DVD release, I'm not sure if I will be participating in the usual pre-release celebrations that Borders offers. Little T and I enjoyed the festivities for "Twilight", but last year's party for "New Moon" was a snooze-fest. Lucky for us, our friend Nancy had come along and provided some entertainment as we waited for the stroke of midnight to snatch up our DVDs.

This DVD release party might be stellar, better than the first one we attended. Or it could suck, and not in the vampire way.

Do I go to Borders again, find a new midnight release venue, or stay home and buy the movie during daylight hours?

Colder than a well-digger's bum

I live in Wisconsin, you know, that place that is sometimes referred to as "the frozen tundra". Granted, not all areas of the land of cheese, beer, and brats are created equally. Living next to the lake and in the southeastern-most corner of the state has an advantage of being about 5 degrees warmer than "up north" throughout most of the winter.

That being said, I don't think I'd want to snuggle up with a handsome piece of vampire man-meat every night during the long winter months. Sounds crazy, I know. But electric blankets cost money, people, as do the electricity bills that would occur from me cranking that blanket to high night after night so my undead stud-muffin can sing me to sleep.

Plus, having to wear 7 layers of clothing to bed, plus the obligatory hat, gloves, scarf, and face mask doesn't really bode well for snuggling.

I'd either have to find a rich vampire (hello, Edward) or move to a warmer climate (which is just about anywhere else in the U.S., except for Minnesota).

I hear Texas is nice this time of year...

There is a Twilight point to this post

Some readers out there have solely dedicated their love to Twilight. Myself, I am able to spread my devotion among many franchises. And that brings me to Star Wars.

Most people have seen at least one of the Star Wars flicks by now and you all know that Darth Vader is Luke's dad, right? No? Ooops, my bad!

Anyway, those movies have been digitalized, refurbished, re-released, reupholstered and everything else you can do to a movie short of re-shooting it. My question is - why? To make it a better experience for the fans or to get more moola from the truly devoted?

This does have a Twilight connection, just let me get there. I was watching Twilight last night and thought about the HUGE advancements from the first movie to the third. And considering the crew of cinematic geniuses that will be contributing to Breaking Dawn, these movies are going to seem completely unconnected.

I just wonder how many years it will take before they remake Twilight. Or they do some other fancy-pants effects to the movie and we all are expected to go purchase a new DVD copy.

Most of us fell in love with the original and are ok with the hokeyness of Edward's "Hold on tight, spider monkey." But when will the big wigs decide that it would be fantastic to see Rosalie break the salad bowl in 3-D or maybe today's teens can't relate to Kristin Stewart's Bella and they need to update it with rapping and more teen angst?

It could end well, but I fear for my Edward.

Some news from Bill Condon

My computer is being all wonky, so I can't put Bill Condon's letter to Twi-fans on this blog entry. When you have a few minutes, take a gander at his Facebook note to find out about the amazing team he has gathered to bring Breaking Dawn to the big screen.

Not sure who Bill Condon is? He will be directing the last chapter of the Twilight Saga.

http://http://bit.ly/a4nuH8

Check out the Denali Clan

Hello, friends -
I am too lazy to track down new photos and descriptions of all the actors/actresses that will comprise the Denali Clan in Breaking Dawn. You should just click on the link below to check out their names and pics over at Twicrack Addict.

http://http://twicrackaddict.blogspot.com/2010/09/denali-clan-are-confirmed-for-breaking.html

I think that they should switch the actresses who are playing Irina and Tanya, but overall, they seem to be good choices.

Say it with me... Awwwww!

Dear Cam Gigandet,

You are already a handsome fella, but when your looks are combined with a leather jacket, shades, and your baby daughter, your hotness should be considered illegal.

Sincerely,

Adventures in Twilightland

PS: Way to be an involved parent!

In case you can't remember, he played ill-fated James in Twilight.

I Never Stood A Chance

Recently Summit Entertainment put a visit to the set of Breaking Dawn: Part One up for auction on Ebay. All proceeds were to benefit "Stand Up for a Cure" in hopes to raise money for cancer research. Though I may not be as fanatically obsessed with tracking all things Twilight now that the school year has kicked in, I am still on top of major events and knew about this auction within an hour of it opening.

I tracked the bids at least once a day in hopes that it would stall. Perhaps even I would be able to throw my hat into the ring. Yes, I have no money in savings and I owe money for tuition, my car getting fixed, bills, and so on, but we are talking about Twilight, people!

My hope even held when it reached in the low $9,000 - $10,000 range, for surely my friends and family would pool enough money to send me within licking, I mean touching distance of Robert Pattinson. After surpassing the $15,000 mark, I gave up.

Thanks to one loyal Twi-hard, scientists will have $60,100 more dollars to use to combat cancer.

As for me, I will just have to be content knowing that Breaking Dawn is going to be filmed in two parts, so I better start saving my pennies now.

Happy Birthday, Bella!

In honor of Bella's birthday, "Eclipse" is being rereleased in a number of movie theaters. Guess how I will be spending my weekend? That's right, staring at Edward (and Jasper) while he cavorts around on the large screen.

To join in the birthday fun, I've included a few birthday ditties so Bella can celebrate her special day on September 13 in style.

Jackson Rathbone gets my Oscar vote

Remember all my complaining about how the hair and make-up people on the "Eclipse" set must have hated Jackson Rathbone because he always looked like an unattractive woman in the movie stills? Well, it didn't really bother me that much during the movie.

Oh sure, he still looked pretty horrible, but Jackson Rathbone is such a charismatic actor that you forget he looks like he is wearing a straw wig on his head and believe that he really is a skilled fighting machine who became a vampire during the Civil War. Yep, he is that good.

I don't know how he does it, but once he starts talking with that faint Southern accent and grins his dimple-inducing smile, you forget about his ugly clothes and hair and just see Jasper. You've seen the pictures, so you know the man must have some serious acting chops to pull off a distraction of that magnitude.

My hat's off to you, Jackson Rathbone, for proving that looks truly don't matter.

Fly on the Wall

A few disclaimers with this one. Minor spoilers ahead, so if you haven't seen "Eclipse" yet and don't want your experience tainted in any way, don't read this! Then call a friend or two and go watch the flick!

Also, while these were all actually overheard, but only some were heard by me. An online Twilight friend of mine heard a couple of these doozies when she went to catch the flick. There is a bit of paraphrasing here and there due to the Edward hotness haze that you will be afflicted with after staring at his beauteous face on the big screen for two hours.


Edward makes a snarky comment about Jacob's chronic half-nakedness: "Doesn't he own a shirt?"
Response from woman in audience: "I'm sure glad he doesn't!"


Bunch of teenage guys watching the movie with dates. One leans over to his buddy and not so quietly whispers, "Dude, that Jacob guy has baby nips.It's creeping me out!"


Edward and Bella are busy celebrating their engagement on the screen. A male voice from the audience pipes up, "Sorry, ladies!"


A group of 40+ year old woman are watching the training scene, oohing and awing until they notice a wardrobe choice. "What the hell? Edward's wearing sweatpants?!?!"


Poo comments - this tends to be a theme when the wolves appear on the screen. "Wouldn't want to clean up my yard after one of those things has been running around."
"Do you think they poop when in wolf form or wait until they are human again?"
"If Bella picked Jacob over Edward, would she be on pooper scooper duty or make him clean up after himself?"


Jacob is snuggling up to keep Bella warm in the tent while Edward watches in agony. "My husband wouldn't let another guy do that. He'd be all, 'Go ahead and freeze your toes off, you don't need all 10 of them.'"


Guy leans over to his wife/girlfriend, "You said only guys can be wolves, so what's up with that chick? Is she really a she-male or something?"


After catching a glimpse of the engagement ring, "Ewwww, you'd think Edward would have better taste. Bella could use that as frickin' brass knuckles!"

How to date a vampire

A few links for your viewing pleasure

Want some delicious Eclipse trailers and spoilers? Click below and enjoy!

MyTwilife - seven Eclipse trailers rolled into one bite-sized viewing.

ROBsessed - general Rob Pattinson yumminess with Eclipse stills, trailers, sets pics, and such.

It's worth checking out the whole sight. The recent photos of him with those big

blue eyes are sigh-as-you-melt-in-your-chair worthy. I can't resist, I'm posting one here!

I believe this pic and a few others will be in a GQ spread. Not certain, but if you really want to know, you can do the sleuthing.

TwiCrack Addict - lots of fun Eclipse stuff with behind the scenes photos, like this one.

Who is your lady friend , Nikki? She's got some cute hair.
Jackson!?!? Sorry man, I didn't recognize you there...

You usually look more, um, like this -

Silly, silly merchandisers

Raise your hand if you have noticed that with each new Twilight Saga movie released, there is a glut of new merchandise available. Now raise your hand if you noticed that there are more and more items being sold under the Twilight name that have NOTHING to do with the movie and/or book. I count more than five hands in the air, so that is a majority of our readers.

For the life of me, I cannot figure out why they allow people who have no interest in the saga to create products to be sold to the masses. Granted, some of us will drool over just about anything that has Edward's pretty, pretty face on it (case in point, the purse), however, most of us aren't going to buy something just because it has the words "Twilight" in the product name.

Due to the astronomical number of merchandising items available to us, I am only going with clothing for this post. In my opinion, the biggest offender of trying to con the masses is Nordstrom's.

Look at this stuff, people. All from the Nordstrom's "Twilight" line of apparel. Besides featuring black, white, and red, prominent colors appearing on the covers of the books, there is not an iota of vampire or wolfy goodness in any of these clothes. Maybe some of the characters wear similar outfits in the movies, but even that is a stretch.

Especially those denim leggings - gak!

I'm just glad at least Hot Topic understands the concept of linking the theme with the product.

Team Switzerland, for when you feel the love for fire and ice!

Is anyone else glad that Boo Boo Stewart kid who is playing Seth Clearwater isn't featured on this shirt? He looks like a toddler compared to these guys (and gal) and kind of reminds me of Justin Beiber.

Would this be too creepy?

I bought a new book last night about casting with resin and how to make my own silicone molds in case I ever decide to get my butt in gear and resume the garden decoration business I used to run with my friend. He was the sculptor and mold maker, so I am trying to learn all the ins and outs of making mother molds.

Anyhoo, as with everything these days, my mind thought of Twilighty possibilities. The book was very explicit as to how to create easy molds and I thought, "What if I take an Edward action figure, rip off his head, and create tiny Edward face necklaces!"

Most of you are probably seething with rage that I would dare defile an Edward action figure, but think of the greater good, people! You could wear Edward on your neck, ears, or hands and not have people ask you why you have a full-size plastic doll tied to your waist.

Here is an example of something kinda, sorta similar to what I am thinking of doing.

Ken necklace created by Margeux Lange

So, would little Edward face necklaces be too out there fellow Twilighters?

Someone call Great Clips

As I sit here waiting to rinse my hair dye out, I have been looking at stills from the new "Eclipse" movie. Is it wrong of me to be so hung up on how these characters look? Aren't they all supposed to be drop-dead gorgeous? That was part of the deal in the book, right?

I actually like Rosalie's hair and makeup here, but Emmett? Is he supposed to be a Vulcan visiting Forks in this movie?

No real problems with Esme here. Hopefully they remember to blend the foundation all the way up to her hairline in this flick, though. Carlisle, on the other hand, has a severe case of helmet-head - are you ready for some football!

For me, this is the worst one. I've said it before and I'll say it again -WHY, SUMMIT, WHY?!?! Alice's trademark wispy, spiky hair is some bob cut and I will not even comment on Jasper's hair.

If they had to give Jasper a slightly longer 'do, they should have done a little something like this...

Twilight Explained - Sort of

Sadly, elements of this video make perfect sense. Case in point - Bella, or should I say Lego?

Tempted by the Fruit of Another

I have been feeling guilty lately about something and I have to confess, Twilightland friends. I am hooked on another vampire book series!

It started out innocently, me wanting to just have something new to read when I get a spare minute. (What about Twilight, you ask? I read a good 10 minutes or more of the series every day, thank you!) I am looking at the discount books at K-mart and grab one called Blue Bloods. It's cheap, not a huge tomb, and isn't a teaching manual - sold! Once at home, I take it out and start reading. It's good, really good.

Cut to the end of that week and I have devoured all four existing books in the series. As I type, I anxiously await October so I can get my next Blue Bloods fix.

We all read other books, right? Well, this is a little different because this is a series about vampires. Who are teens. And there is a love triangle. Did I mention that werewolves are being added to the series eventually?

No sparkling in sunlight for these vamps, but I am completely intrigued with the author's concepts. Vampires are really angels that were cast out of heaven for following the Morningstar - Lucifer. They must live their lives out on Earth, helping civilization in order to try to win favor with the Almighty for a second chance at heaven.

Yes, they suck blood, but never drain people. It is supposed to be a holy, special kind of exchange between human familiar and vampire. Plus, they get reincarnated after every life cycle with memories that kick-in as they reach the age of 18. Many of the vamps can remember back to the Mayflower or even ancient Egypt.

Now, imagine all this, plus add a dash of teenage angst and self-discovery. Makes for an interesting mix. Especially when you are a rich, elite teen who finds out that you have super powers and need to suck blood to survive.

The whole new take on vampires has me thirsting for more, much like Twilight did. But rest assured friends, I may be tempted, but will never desert Twidom. After all, there is only one Edward.

It's ok, Big T. I know you'll always come back to me in the end.

Would if I could

I am merely entertaining these ideas because:
1: The sister I am referring to reads this blog though she is no fan of Twilight - weirdo. Not for reading the blog, but because she doesn't like the Twidom.
2. I am tired of studying and taking a brain break.
3. My mother would KILL Little T and I. Even Edward would not be able to save us from her fury.

One of our sisters is getting married come August, I think. The card is on the fridge and I am much too lazy to go look. No, I'm right because I have to take a day off from my weekend job to attend. Anyway... this sister has made Twilight verboten at the wedding. I am sad, but am forced to respect her wishes. I think she is worried Edward will be prettier than her, but then again, he is prettier than everyone, so really, it is a moot point.

If I were completely evil - hypothetical, not going to really happen - these are the things I would do to sneak Twilight into the wedding.

1. Replace the cake topper with Edward and Bella action figures.
2. Wrap my wedding gift in pages from "Breaking Dawn."
3. Have the d.j. play the entire soundtrack from "Twilight", "New Moon", and "Eclipse" at the reception. Note to self: May still attempt this one.
4. Sneak an Edward cardboard cut-out into the reception (I do have some giant purses...) and follow the photographer around to photo bomb as many pictures as possible.
5. Bribe anyone who is going to give a toast at the reception so they use random quotes from the book series in their speech. Extra money to the individual who uses one of my favorite phrases from the movie - ask Little T. She knows.

One last time - I WON'T REALLY DO THESE. But I am looking for more ideas, just in case...

We can all breath now

It is official - Ashley and Kellan WILL be in "Breaking Dawn"!

Things were squared away this week and I can now put my pitchfork and torch away since I will no longer need to lead the angry mob of Twilighters in a crusade for Summit executive heads. Darn.

This could be disasterous

Stop everything, people! Have you heard what Summit may be doing? The chatter in the caf is that Kellan Lutz and Ashley Green will not be in anymore Twilight movies after "Eclipse".

Why, you ask? Kellan and Ashley are asking for some more moola to be in "Breaking Dawn" seeing as Summit is making heaps 'o' dough off the Twilight Saga flicks. Summit has supposedly offered them a "very generous sum" and feels that the actors are being greedy. There is serious talk of them dumping the two actors to "make an example" and show the other cast and crew members that Summit doesn't mess around.

I am so hoping that this is false, but several Twilight fandom bloggers have been doing mega research in regard to this rumor and all signs point to this being true.

Summit, I will still see the movie, but I am not going to accept someone else playing Emmett or Alice. It's bad enough what you did to Victoria (whenever I see the new Victoria in the movie trailers I cringe), but to take away Kellan and Ashley would be a HUGE mistake.

Heck, think of the merchandising issues they'd have! This could very well end up being Summit's biggest mistake.

The Purse

Here is the hot bag, minus the crap. Doesn't he seem to almost be sparkling in the sun?

When I opened this at work and showed Little T, she promptly took it and started snuggling Edward against her face and declared she wanted to take a nap with him. Another Twilight crazy coworker admired his dazzling beauty for a few moments and then pressed him into her bosom. Twice.

I can't blame them, really. Those golden eyes just make you want to do crazy things.

- Big T

Hot bag of crap

It has been confirmed on several occasions that I am a geek. Though I am not a supreme grandmaster of superheroes, I can hold my own fairly well. Same with Star Wars. Buffy and Twilight - don't make me bust out the kung-fu on you because I will totally pwn you, fool.

Another example of my geekitude is the fact that in the summer I work at the local renaissance faire. Costume and all, baby. I don't really like being a patron, except for the food and fire whip performer (hello, gorgeous!), but I love interacting with the customers and work for a really cool chick. And today her coolness points skyrocketed.

There was a package on the counter at work today. Since I haven't ordered anything lately, I didn't think there was a snowball's chance in hell that it would be for me - but I was wrong! Tucked inside the package was a card and a purse.

I flipped the purse over and Edward's eyes peered up at me. I started laughing so much I teared up and opened the card. My ren boss (and friend) had written: "Here's a hot bag full of crap."
Curious, I open the bag and inside is a piece of soap shaped like crap. Literal crap.

Cherie, you are so flippin' awesome!!!

I will be posting a photo of my beloved Edward purse soon, if someone can pry it out of my hands long enough to take a pic.

-Big T

Welcome, Newbie!

Big T's friend from high school, Ming, just stumbled into the world of Twilight. In order to welcome her into this glorious land filled with teen angst, sparkles, and good looking vampires, we've decided to interview this new convert.

Why did you start reading the Twilight Series?
My sister gave me Twilight to try out and I was hooked! (Note from Big T: I've always thought your sister had excellent taste.)

What book are you currently reading?
Eclipse

Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Team Edward! Jacob is too "unstable", as Edward likes to call it, for me right now, haha.

If you could be any character from the series, who would you like to be and why?
Alice - she sounds super cute and happy, plus she can see into the future - how fantastic.

Have you seen the movies? If yes, did you like them? How do you feel they compared to the books? If not, how come?
Nope, haven't seen the movies yet. I think seeing teens on screen would take away from the stories. Somehow I can relate to the stories, even though I'm almost 31! Also, I don't particularly care for the actors who play the characters. (Another note from Big T: I sincerely hope you are not referring to our beloved Rob Pattinson or Taylor Lautner. If so, you may be receiving dog doo in the mail.)

How immersed in the Twilight community have you become? Talking to strangers about the series when you notice Twilight gear, reading blogs, writing your own blog, owning action figures, wearing shirts, etc.
I haven't become that immersed in the Twilight community, but I think I'm going to be content just reading the books. I'm not big on paraphernalia. (Yet another note from Big T: Ming, Ming, Ming - once you are a member of the Twilight fandom long enough, the paraphernalia just starts to appear around you. Prepare to be assimilated. )

Would you ever want to visit Forks, Washington to see all the real locations?
Sure!

What is your favorite part about the series so far? Least favorite?
Favorite part - when Edward and Bella are getting to know each other in Twilight. He's so sweet to her. Least favorite - Every time Bella does something reckless. She can be so annoying. Jeez, if I were Edward or Jacob, I would get so tired of rescuing her all the time!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us, Ming! We are utterly delighted that you joined us over here in Twilightland!

Hello, Salty Goodness!

I am sure Little T will soon be welcoming the newest Edward cutout into her family of cardboard people. Heck, I may even have to get one of these for my very own.

What Were They Thinking?

I've decided that Jackson Rathbone, the actor who plays Jasper in the Twilight movies, must have boiled puppies alive in a previous life. Why, you ask? Have you seen film stills from "Eclipse" yet? All I am going to say is those hair/make-up people were not kind.

Little T and I have a theory that his attractiveness was too distracting for the movie execs and they've been toning down Jackson's hotness in each movie to make Rob Pattinson look even better. Do they not understand that Rob needs no help and that they should totally cash in on Jackson's good looks too? Judging by these pictures, I guess not.

Stay on the sunny side, Jackson. We love you even if your hair is completely heinous.

See him in the back right corner? You poor, poor boy.

How May I Help You?

Little T and I had a hankering for steak the other night, but our restaurant of choice was crazy busy, so we went to a sushi joint instead. Our server was very pleasant, charismatic, and seemed familiar, like we had met him somewhere before. We were both puzzled because we couldn't put our finger on where we may have previously encountered him.

Imagine our surprise as we glanced at the bill and read our server's name. First poor Edward has to take a part-time job with Merry Maids and now this. All I can say is the boy knows how to use his charms to get a good tip.

Happy 18th Birthday, Taylor Lautner!

Little T is an Edward lover, through and through. Big T, her feelings are a bit more complicated. However, she recently found a magnet that perfectly explains it rather simply: I love Edward... until Jacob takes his shirt off.

Big T gets into playful arguments with the older girls at the school where she works about how she is going to marry Taylor Lautner and Little T gets Rob Pattinson (this is only arranged to avoid having the two sisters battle to death over who gets to have Rob). That plan wasn't really feasible until today, due to the fact that Big T is so much older than Taylor and he is underage to boot. But not anymore! Happy Birthday, Taylor!

In order to celebrate this special, special day, we had a party for the birthday boy, complete with cupcakes. May he survive the hoards of older Twilight fans that will now be stalking him and someday visit Kenosha to find the older girl of his dreams.

Just in case Taylor ever decides to change his look, he'll have a handy reference for "mustached" and "clown faced".

To be surrounded by Taylor Lautners - every girl's dream!

Hoodie Taylor - for those casual days.