Twilight Grubbin'

Remember when you found out most of the locations in the Twilight Saga books were real and you spent hours browsing websites and travel brochures planning your Forks vacation? What, Little T and I are the only ones who actually did that?

Alas, that trip has not yet come to fruition, but I haven't given up hope yet. In the meantime, maybe we'll take advantage of the interesting option Bella Italia has been offering since 2011 - they will ship their mushroom ravioli straight to your house.

In case you forgot, Bella Italia is the Italian restaurant in Port Angeles that Edward takes Bella to in the book - Twilight. She orders the first thing she eyes on the menu and ends up eating while Edward chit chats with her and tries to avoid the advances of the waitress.

Well, for only $21.98 you can purchase 20 ounces of delicious frozen mushroom raviolis and dine like a girl who is in love with a vampire in your very own kitchen. Mind you, this product is shipped overnight, which is the real kicker.

I live in Wisconsin, a good distance from Washington, so I expected shipping to be a bit pricey, but not $83.32 pricey! That would bring my grand total to $105.30. Ouch. Think I'll just save the cash and put it away into my "Dorks in Forks" trip fund. I'd rather eat it fresh anyway.

Missing You

Please note that I am just going to pretend that we are all caught up on the movies. Why? Because I am lazy like that. Just play along. It'll be less painful that way.

Throughout the Twilight Saga movies, each director has tried to leave their footprint on the series. Whether it be their choice of music, costumes, or actors, sometimes you shouldn't mess with the original.

1. Edward's hair - Am I the only person who misses the bouffant-like hairstyle Edward sported in the first film? I felt it made him seem more like a teenager slightly lost in time, not a dude in his mid-20s hoping he doesn't have to stop filming in order to shave the 5 o'clock shadow off his face. *There are many, many more hair-related comments I could make about other cast members, but we'll just stick with this one. Though I mourn the loss of Alice's slightly longer hair and weep at Carlisle's helmet head.

He's sexy and he knows it.  

2. The original Victoria - Watching Bryce Dallas Howard take on the Victoria role was both painful and annoying. Mind you, I really enjoy this actress in other movies, but Rachelle Lefevre had a perfect predatory, menacing, manipulative vibe going on. Curse you for giving Rachelle the boot rather than work out a filming schedule that suited everyone's needs. 

 

I'm going to eat your face, Bella! 

3. Bella's klutziness - Maybe I'm a bit fuzzy on the details, but Bella was waaaaay more klutzy and accident prone in the first 2 flicks, right? Did Kristin Stewart get tired of having to fall off motorcycles and hit people with volleyballs? 

Sorry, couldn't find an image of Bella slipping on the ice outside her house. Its mouth is already hanging open, so just imagine a brown wig on the bear and you're all set. 

Breaking Dawn Part 2 Trailer

Admit it, you thought I was dead, didn't you? Meh, it's ok. No offense taken.

Here, watch this while I go ponder what Twilighty-goodness to include in the next blog post.

My Little Jumping Bean

I've been pretty bummed lately. The combination of shortened days and money worries has been putting me in a funk and not the good kind.

In an attempt to cheer myself up I  turned to Twilight. The Jumping Rob meme always makes me laugh. You've all seen it, right? If you haven't visited the site yet be warned that the language is rather adult, but totally worth the trip.

 

This is one of the many examples you'll find. I am from

Wisconsin and when applicable, am obligated to use photos that have the

Green Bay Packers in them. It's state law.*

*Not really, but pretty darn close.

Git ur hair did

I have to give mad props to the people that are in charge of Twilight Saga merchandising. Those folks know how to turn anything into something that can make a buck.

Case in point: Twilight Styling Tools.

That is right. Now I can use special curling irons, straighteners, brushes, curlers, and various other styling tools to look like my favorite vampires.

Find these items and all sorts of other "Breaking Dawn" related items at Twilight Styling Tools. I just wish they came with hair glitter...

Twimore

Harry Potter fans, raise your hands! I see many of our readers share a love for both wizards and sparkly vampires, which comes as no surprise since our beloved Rob Pattinson has been in both franchises.

Now, how many of you have signed up for Pottermore? Really? I haven't bothered yet. A: I was too lazy to try to find the feather thing and B: Well, I was just plain lazy.

In response to the wildly successful Pottermore site, Stephanie Meyers has come up with her own online adventure for devoted Twilight Fans. May I present: Twimore!

*Yes, I know this is a joke. Go anyway and make sure to find out what your vampire name is! For the record, mine was Twi-crimsonvamp.

Mark Wahlberg Knows

Recently, Mark Wahlberg abdicated his reign over the land of buff biceps and chiseled abs to Taylor Lautner.

Take a peek here.

That's right, even Marky Mark can't deny the siren call of the Twilight men.

It's Time To Say Goodbye

Not to this blog, despite the 30 months where there were no new posts. No, it's time to say goodbye to my job. After 35 years, the school where Little T and I are employed will be closing the doors.

This school, where I worked for 11 mostly good years, has played a big hand in my Twilight obsession. I bonded with students and co-workers alike over the books and movies. Little T and I have put up posters of Twilight characters in nooks and crannies all over the building. Lil' E has been a regular visitor in my classrooms and gone on a number of field trips with students. I even sent him on vacation with a family once so he could see Florida (true story). Heck, say the name Edward around my students and they'll tell you that's my future husband. Plus, all of them can now recognize him in commercials and print ads and will tell me what stores they've seen the Twilight books displayed -did I mention they are all 5 and 6 year old little boys? I even have a collection of artwork given to me by students who drew me riding wolf-Jacob's back or dancing with Edward.

Thanks for the memories, Twilight!

A student gave the Twilight Trinity strawberry smiles on a recent field trip. What? You thought I'd bring plain disposable plates for the kids? Not when these babies are available!

And the Angry Band Geek Emerges

I had heard the chatter about Rob Pattinson being in the April edition of "Vanity Fair" and didn't give it much attention. Sure, I'd be checking out the pictures and reading the article, but I was expecting it. Pretty pictures of Rob and some sort of q and a that tells me little about him as a real person. Same as all the other magazines.

I didn't rush out to get it the second it appeared in print, but I grabbed a copy this week while at K-mart. Normally, I won't cough up the dough for something I'll read once.

The magazine makes it home and I quickly bypass the fluff to the photos. My plan: scan the photos and then go back to look at each one in more detail. After I am done drooling, read the article and review pictures again.

Everything is going according to plan until I hit the photo of Rob in Preservation Hall, touching the piano. The two things that immediately go through my mind are a) the man has way nicer fingernails than I do and b) he is allowed to actually touch that piano.

http://www.vanityfair.com/

Most of you are wondering my sanity. How could she even notice that when Rob is sitting there looking so heavenly? Friends, I'm not saying he looks bad, I'm saying his photo team has pissed me off.

I was in the band program when I was younger. It was an excellent program and by the time you got to high school symphonic band, you were expected to perform exceedingly well. Lots of sectional rehearsals and weekly lunchtime practices in addition to the daily classroom practice. When it came time for our yearly competition trip, even more time spent in the band room. And for those of us who were particularly insane, there was jazz band.

Jazz band was after school, in addition to the craziness that was symphonic band. It was a love-hate relationship with me and jazz band. I liked listening to the music and being part of the team, but I could never quite make my saxophone sound the way I thought it should. I'm sure I sounded fine, otherwise the director would have made his displeasure with my performance quite clear.

Let's get back to the point. During my junior year, our symphonic and jazz bands went to a competition in New Orleans. We blew the judges away and won some kind of national awards. That wasn't the only exciting part for us band kids. Getting to explore the city was a big event. And Preservation Hall was one of the major stops.

We looked around and soaked in the history of the place. Couldn't touch the stuff, just look, listen, and feel the spirit of the city and her music.

When I saw that image of Rob Pattinson and how he was allowed to not only come in contact with the instruments, he got to play with the house band, I began to fume. What makes him so special that he gets this honor? Does he realize the history of the place? The significance it holds to the people of New Orleans and jazz lovers around the world?

True, I don't know the man personally. From interviews, he seems to be an avid music fan. But the high school jazz band saxophone player in me is still fuming that Rob Pattinson was allowed to tickle those ivories, while people like myself who agonized over the music and are still in awe of that landmark will never be able to get as close to musical history as he did.

Dude, you are so lucky you play Edward. Instead of kicking your butt, I'll just scowl at you until you play me "Bella's Lullaby".

I'm a Big Kid Now!

Our favorite wolfman is inching ever closer to the end of his teen years. Taylor celebrated his 19th birthday on February 11. Sadly, Twilightland did not have a party for him this year- we are saving our pennies for a huge 21st birthday blowout. Don't worry, Taylor. It'll be epic!

Twifecta of Baking - Cupcakes, Bacon, and Edward

Some time ago, I had a baking date with a friend. Baking isn't my forte. You can ask me all about Twilight and vampires, but what kind of butter you should buy when making cupcakes? There are different kinds of butter?*

Edward was going to stay home until I casually mentioned the items on my baking to-do list. Loaves of bread, cinnamon rolls, and cupcakes. More specifically, beer and bacon cupcakes.

Cupcakes alone are awesome, but when you add bacon - they are like a drug. Everyone loves bacon, right? Werewolves, zombies, demons, humans, vampires - no one is safe from bacon's delicious siren call.** The smell, the texture, the TASTE.

Once arriving at my friend's home, Edward was only too happy to volunteer his services so he could sink his fangs into a beer and bacon cupcake that much sooner.

Edward stirring the butter, brown sugar, and beer concoction that gets added to the cupcake batter. He kept sneaking sips from the beer bottle and telling us that Julia Child drank while she baked and look how great her food always turned out.

Edward wouldn't keep his paws out of the cheddar, bacon, and cream cheese frosting. This is the second batch he inhaled before we even frosted a single cupcake. And people think I'm obsessed with bacon.

Needing a break from all that stirring, Edward surveys Godzilla's progress on the cinnamon roll filling. I think he did pretty well for a guy with no arms.

About two seconds after this photo was taken, Edward dived into the cupcakes. He was rolling around, coating himself in cupcake and bacon, shouting "Mine, all mine!" No more beer for Edward while baking.

We were able to save a few of the cupcakes before Edward mangled them during his drunken shenanigans. Verdict: yummy, but can be improved upon. It was also decided that Edward may not participate in any baking sessions where alcohol or bacon are primary ingredients.

*Unspoiled! Just kidding, unsalted.
** Except for vegans and vegetarians. I think they are missing the bacon gene. That's ok. We still like them.

One Question

What if you had the chance to meet Rob Pattinson in person? And what if during that encounter you were allowed to ask him one question? There are no loopholes or tricks you could use to weasel more queries out of him. Would you be prepared?

I've been taking a bit of a break from Twilightland to catch up with my other fandoms. You know, Buffy, Star Wars, Blue Bloods, and so on. We're having a bit of a Twilight dry spell, so I figure why not?

I was in the mood to watch some Harry Potter so I pick out "The Goblet of Fire" and throw it in the DVD player. It made good background noise while I attempted to clean my kitchen, though I stopped to drool every time Cedric was in the frame.

After the movie was done I immediately knew what my question for Rob Pattinson would be if I got the chance to chat with him : What was it like to have Voldemort smack you in the face with his foot?

Best of Both Worlds - Topless Edition

What inspired this one, you ask? I noticed that Little T posted something about finding an Edward rubber ducky for on Etsy. BTW, there is one and he just doesn't do it for me like the Jasper duck. I didn't post him here because his hairline gives me the wiggins, no pun intended.

That made me wonder if there were any other odd Twilight inspired toys on Etsy. Which led me to find a couple of interesting items, both which happened to feature man nips. And that made me wonder if anyone ever posted items labeled "Twilight nipples." Yep, someone did.

His lips are a bit too Angelina Jolie for me, but working with wool roving can be a total pain in the bum sometimes, so I'd give this Etsy artist an (A) for effort. Available from gimpyvicki123

Who needs a plushie with arms when you can have one with man nips and a 4 pack? Available from telahmarie

I wonder if Alice packed some of these for Bella to use on her honeymoon... Available from CheesecakeBurlesque

Why Not?

Rockin Robin is a Twilightland Hero

What makes this Rockin Robin chick so special? She single-handedly saved this blog from deletion.

I am not arrogant enough to think that this blog will be read by more than 100 people or so in its lifetime. And if it even gets that high, it will because of some bizarre mistake, like they entered the wrong web address. But over the past few months, I've felt kind of "blah" about the blog. Nobody was participating in poll voting or commenting on anything. I missed the virtual interactions with other Twilight fans that the blog used to have and came {thisclose} to deleting everything and just settle for getting my Cullen fix elsewhere.

And then through the murk of the Interwebs came a beam of bright light - in the form of a comment. Rockin Robin questioned my sanity in reference to thinking Emmett is attractive. (Let me address that Kellan Lutz is hot (at least his arms and abs are) and the book Emmett I have pictured in my mind is a dreamboat, but not on the same level as Edward. The movie Emmett now sports a vulcan haircut and his eyes are majorly creepy - Rosalie can keep him.)

Thank you, Robin. You have returned the spark to Twilightland.

In honor of this momentous occasion, December 28th will now be known as "Rockin Robin Day" in Twilightland.

You don't get a key to the city, but how about a nice picture of Edward?

"Robin, I don't understand her reasoning, either. There is no way Emmett is hotter than me!"

Happy Holidays!

May Santa fill your stocking with Twilighty goodness!

Best of Both Worlds - Emmett Edition

Now we have the last of the three Cullen brothers - Emmett! So far, he has been the hardest of the three to find items for. When I put "Team Emmett" into the search field I ended up with this guy as an option:

Not exactly what I had in mind, but he is kinda cute! Available from NatureVisions.

Show your love for everyone's favorite monkey man by adding this tile pendant to a necklace, keychain, hairclip, or whatever else your heart desires! Available from LaBellaNovella.

Nothing says "I am a mature, organized woman" like a Team Emmett notebook. The classy argyle background makes this suitable for school, home, or work use. Plus, everyone will know that your alliances fall with vamps once they spot the "Vampires Rule, Werewolves Drool" slogan so you don't have to waste your time talking with Team Jacob weirdos anymore! Available from mommymauss.

"What? You like my new shoes? My big burly boyfriend gave them to me to make sure everyone knows I'm spoken for." Have similar conversations once you start sporting your Emmett's Lover shoes around town. But be careful about Rosalie. I hear she's a hair puller! Available from alcat2021. PS: Be sure to check out the Justin Bieber shoes, too. No, I'm serious.

Coffee by itself is already pretty awesome, but add a shirtless Emmett sleeve and you have yourself the best morning ever! The only thing that would make this better is if Emmett was in your kitchen making you your cup of joe. Available from fezfactiry. *

*I know that this is really a picture of Kellan Lutz that's spiced up to look like Emmett. Dude, it was hard to find Emmett stuff - remember the dog sculpture. Also, I am not passing up the opportunity to share a shirtless image of Kellan Lutz with you wonderful blog readers. That would be a total disservice to the two people that actually read this blog.

Best of Both Worlds - Edward Edition

Today's Etsy picks focus on our main man, Edward Cullen! Without further ado...


Frankly, I think this sock zombie ala Edward is spot-on: messy bronze hair that is calling out for you to run your fingers through it, golden eyes that leave you speechless with their beauty, plus his stylish pea coat and pale skin. Biggest bonus: it's a puppet! Available from underroos.

Even equines cannot resist the hotness that is Edward Cullen! Now I won't mind so much when my niece asks me to start playing "My Little Pony" with her when she's older. Available from Wendypony.

Granted , this purse is not as fabulous as my Edward purse, but it is adorable enough to use every day. And it is perfect when you need to infiltrate a Twilight-haters gathering and want to covertly bring a little bit of EC with you. Available from Phesine.

This is how I imagine Edward would look during his honeymoon on Isle Esme. You know, that "Let's take a midnight dip" look. Why not invite your Twilighty friends to a "Breaking Dawn" midnight release party with these bad boys? Available from aeworldsapart.

BTW, my cheeky monkey of a sister, Little T, is insinuating that I would do tawdry things with the Jasper rubber duckie. Not so. I would merely enjoy washing and styling those flowing locks as I soak in the tub. If it were the Edward duckie, that would be a completely different story...

Best of Both Worlds - Jasper Edition

Remember ages ago when I introduced you to Etsy? You know, that website that I am obsessed with, the one where you can purchase all sorts of delightfully delicious handmade items?

Today's Etsy post is devoted to Jasper. My heart may belong to Edward Cullen, but if I were left alone with Jasper... well, let's just say he wouldn't need to use his powers of persuasion to steal me away from his brother.*

*As I typed that last line I got a mental image of Little T calling me a trollop. I guess I am a sucker for a pretty vegetarian vampire face. At least I'm keeping it in the Cullen family, right?

I know this should be considered Jackson Rathbone and not Jasper, but I couldn't resist! If I had this key chain, I don't think I'd ever have a problem with misplacing my keys again. Available from StraitjacketFun.

What's with the Confederate flag and gun, you ask? Silly, did you forget that once upon a time Jasper was a soldier in the Confederate army before he joined the Cullen fam? Available from islandgirlzjewelry.

Mug of hot chocolate - check. Flashlight - check. Good book - check. Jasper doll - check. Ready to crawl under blanket fort - check. Available from TheBlackPumpkin.

Jasper duckie, you're the one! You make bath time so much fun (wink, wink). Available from OnlyDucks.

Sadly, there are not a whole lot of Jasper-themed items on Etsy at the moment. In fact, during one of my "Jasper" searches I ended up finding some really nice non-Twilight jewelry. Hmmm, methinks Little T and I may need to remedy that problem.

Preferred Blood Type

Question: What type of vampire fan are you?

Are you a vampire snob, who only believes in one type of vampire and thinks all other versions of bloodsuckers are a mockery of your one true love? You know, you don't consider a vampire "real" unless it conforms to Stephenie Meyer's, Ann Rice's, Joss Whedon's, (insert another writer/movie director/tv show producer's name here), idea of vampire lore.

Do you embrace all types of vampires, regardless of the way they are presented? You are cool with vampires sparkling. You don't mind when they cower in fear when faced with a garlic wreath. You are ok with vamps morphing into a bat. In fact, you are the person who loves vampires so much, you will read or watch anything that merely has the word vampire in it.

Or are you somewhere in the middle? You are ok with differing vampire viewpoints, but are a little more discerning when it comes to selecting vampire-themed books and movies to satisfy your jones for creatures of the night.

Myself, I walk the middle of the road. I love to read and watch all sorts of vampire-based stories, but I have limits.

The reason I ask is that I am looking for my next quality fix. While "Eclipse" is being released this coming up weekend and will keep me occupied for a couple of weeks (and I have decided not to attend a midnight release party - no money and the lameness factor of the "New Moon" party), I know that I will be looking out for my next helping of vampire folklore soon enough.

So, send me your suggestions for my vampire reading/viewing pleasure!